U.N. Boss Kofi Annan gave an "off-the-cuff" press conference yesterday and spent a lot of time answering questions about why his son kept getting payments out of the corrupt, U.N.-administered Iraqi Oil-for-Food Program until earlier this year.

Here is a Late Final translation of his remarks:

Q: Can you just explain what you know of the Cotecna/Kojo Annan angle, and what you knew, and when you knew it?

SG: Well, I have also been following the press reports on this.

But let me say two things. First, naturally I have warm, family relations with my son, but he is in a different field. He is an independent business man. He is a grown man, and I don't get involved with his activities and he doesn't get involved in mine.

And also, as I have stated earlier, I have no involvement with granting of contracts, either on this Cotecna one, or others. And I would also suggest that if you have any questions about his business activities one should direct it to him or the company concerned. In the meantime, I would urge us all to be patient until Mr. Volcker completes his work.

Translation: Don't bother me with this. Wait for our stone wall to be built, and then try to get some information.

Q: What was your reaction when you learned that the non-compete payments continued through this year to your son? Were you surprised?

SG: I had been working on the understanding that it ceased in 1998 and I had not expected that the relationship continued.

Translation: The parents are always the last to know. Go bother someone else.

Q: Do you understand the perception problem for the UN?

SG: Absolutely. I understand the perception problem for the UN, or the perception of conflict of interests and wrongdoing. I can understand that.

Translation: All my energy went into dinner parties with network executives and crossing my fingers that Kerry would get elected and that all this stuff would be swept under the rug. After all, nobody mentions Kurt Waldheim anymore, do they?

Q: Did you get in touch with your son upon hearing this? What did you say to him? What did he say back?

SG: I did talk to him, but I really don't want to get into this. I did talk to my son about it.

Translation: I'm not about to tell you which lawyers I advised him to see, which safe deposit boxes to place the cash or that I'm still looking for the third season of "Buffy" on DVD for Christmas. Nope. You're not getting that out of me.

Q: Are you disappointed? Are you angry with him for putting something away for four years?

SG: Naturally I was very disappointed and surprised, yes.

Translation: What do I care? He hasn't hit me up for any cash in seven or eight years. He just should have been a little more quiet about it.

Q: Sir, how will this affect you personally? This has become something of a personal battle between you and some of the press and some lawmakers. How does it relate to your continuing on as Secretary-General, your agenda here at the United Nations, and how difficult does it make these tasks?

SG: We have very serious work to do in the coming year, the years ahead, and I would want to focus on that. Obviously in this climate and with this oil-for-food discussions, it is not going to be easy. It wasn't going to be easy anyway. It is going to be much more difficult, but we do have work to do and I hope that the Member States and governments concerned will see the value in focusing on the reform and the development issues that will be…

Translation: Are you kidding me? Norm Coleman? Who the hell is he? Give me a break. Everything is just fine. And besides, Vaclav Havel wouldn't take the job if you paid him. (Or his son.)